Quote of the Day (2014-04-30)

Kramer: "I just took a bath, Jerry. A bath!"

Jerry: "No good?"

Kramer: "It's disgusting. I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2014-04-29)

Homer: Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2014-04-27)

And by the way, they're real, and they're spectacular

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2014-04-26)

Victor Melling: [during a makeover session] Eyebrows. There should be two.

Source: Miss Congeniality

Quote of the Day (2014-04-25)

Jim Hacker: "Obviously the Home Secretary will have to resign."

Sir Humphrey: "Alas, yes."

Jim Hacker: "What on earth will happen to him?"

Sir Humphrey: "Well, I gather he was as drunk as a lord, so after a discrete interval they will probably make him one."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2014-04-24)

Peter Gibbons: I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We're looking up "money laundering" in the dictionary.

Source: Office Space

Quote of the Day (2014-04-23)

Kent Brockman: Springfield has come down with a fever: football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take 2 tickets, and see the game Sunday morning.

Public Service Announcer: Warning. Tickets should NOT be taken internally.

Homer: See? Because of me, now they have a warning.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2014-04-22)

Lester Burnham: [narrating] That's my wife, Carolyn. See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident.

Source: American Beauty

Quote of the Day (2014-04-21)

Sybil Fawlty: [on the phone] I know....I know....I know...Oh, I know!

Basil Fawlty: Then why is she telling you?!

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2014-04-20)

Marty DiBergi: Do you feel that playing rock 'n' roll music keeps you a child? That is, keeps you in a state of arrested development?

Derek Smalls: No. No. No. I feel it's like, it's more like going, going to a, a national park or something. And there's, you know, they preserve the moose. And that's, that's my childhood up there on stage. That moose, you know.

Marty DiBergi: So when you're playing you feel like a preserved moose on stage?

Derek Smalls: Yeah.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2014-04-19)

Mrs. Griffith: I'm the guidance counselor; I should know all the students, especially the ones that dress like prostitutes.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2014-04-18)

Derek Zoolander: Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.

Source: Zoolander

Quote of the Day (2014-04-17)

I feel happy... I feel happy. [whop]

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2014-04-16)

Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.

Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?

Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.

Source: Office Space

Quote of the Day (2014-04-15)

It IS the bunny rabbit.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2014-04-14)

Victor Melling: Your hair should make a statement.

Gracie Hart: As long as it doesn't say 'Thank you very much for the Country Music Award'!

Source: Miss Congeniality

Quote of the Day (2014-04-13)

Mr. Ross: "It's a terrible tragedy when parents outlive their children."

George: "Yes, I agree. I hope my parents go long before I do."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2014-04-12)

There's only 150 of them!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2014-04-11)

Narrator: I flipped through catalogs and wondered: What kind of dining set defines me as a person?

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2014-04-10)

Jim Hacker: "Honesty always gives you the advantage of surprise in the House of Commons."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2014-04-09)

Niles: I'll have a decaf latte, and please be sure to use skim milk.

Frasier: I'll have the same.

Eric: Got it.

[to barista]

Eric: Two Gutless Wonders!

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2014-04-03)

I can deal with a fake personality, but I have to draw the line somewhere.

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2014-04-02)

Jerry: "I had a very interesting lunch with George Costanza today."

Kramer: "Really?"

Jerry: "We were talking about our lives, and we both kind of realized we're kids. We're not men."

Kramer: "So then you asked yourselves, 'Isn't there something more to life?'"

Jerry: "Yes, we did."

Kramer: "Yeah, well let me clue you in on something... There isn't."

Jerry: "There isn't?"

Kramer: "Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry, marriage? Family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. 'Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?!' And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating."

Jerry: "I can?"

Kramer: "Oh yeah. You know why? Because it's dinnertime, and you know what you do at dinner?"

Jerry: "What?"

Kramer: "You talk about your day. 'How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know, how about you, how was your day?'"

Jerry: "Boy."

Kramer: "It's sad, Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs."

Jerry: "I'm glad we had this talk."

Kramer: "Oh, you have no idea."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2014-04-01)

Narrator: I had it all. Even the glass dishes with tiny bubbles and imperfections, proof they were crafted by the honest, simple, hard-working indigenous peoples of... wherever.

Source: Fight Club